I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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