It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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