She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
