the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
