I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
