I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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