you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
