the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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