Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(317): View more from Indiana

I got her a Nickelback box set.

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(248): View more from Michigan

first off, his name is dougie. strike one.

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(630): View more from Illinois

I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude

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(519): View more from Ontario

Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.

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(253): View more from Washington

sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...

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(330): View more from Ohio

Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.

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(904): View more from Florida

I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going

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