I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
