i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
