So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
