I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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