It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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