they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
