Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
