i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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