she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
she told me i tasted like america
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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