Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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