I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Can I color on your dick again?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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