Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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