i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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