I heard we made out
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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