But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
