erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
