____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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