I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
