yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize