i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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