is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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