no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
