wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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