For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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