my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
