Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
