so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
