i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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