Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
