That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
