HIV tests are more positive than that guy
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize