Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
