Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
