woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
