I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
