when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize