i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
