There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
