i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Randomize
