if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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