So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
