I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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