I didn't shave. On purpose
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
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there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
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And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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