Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
