I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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