let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
