Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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