a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
