I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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