maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
