I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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