I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
