she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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